Grow your beard for New Year's!

It just keeps on going, year after year!

Get as many people as possible to grow beards for New Year's. Maybe this will become a blog. They seem to be trendier than beards.


The winter must be defied. We have the technology to do it (without looking too frizzy).


If you have a Y chromosome, use it.
If you don't, try to grow a beard anyway. You never know until you try. Gene therapy is probably a little drastic (but see below if you're really pressed for time), as are hormone treatments (unless that's your thing).
If all else fails, simply sit back and appreciate the witnessing of one of the few remaining publicly acceptable male rituals. Smoking a bowl of frop may take your mind off it, if it disturbs you.

If you're willing to do without clothing, feel free to grow some other body hair and join the festivities. We wouldn't want you to feel left out.


Start on or around Thanksgiving (or, if you missed Thanksgiving, start now! If you have less than two weeks to go, these people might be able to help you.). Trimming is permitted, but none of those boyband microbeards. Assert your defiance! Are you a man or a twirly-headed pencil-top eraser?
Goatees don't count unless you also have muttonchops. Think 80% coverage.

Gadzooks! I already have a beard! What now?

Pictures and patience, my young apprentice. Go forth and spread the joy.

But I live in a place where it's hot in the winter. What then?

Grow your beard the rest of the year, and shave it for New Year's. And don't come visit us with your pasty bald face.

But I live in a place where it's hot all year round. What then?

What the hell are you doing wasting your time on the web? Go outside! If you live in a place where it's hot outside all year round and you have wireless internet access, you can just go to hell. It's plenty hot there.

But I live in a place where it's cold all year round. What then?

The excess cold seems to have caused the fluid around your brain to contract. My apologies.

If you send me before and after pictures, I'll post them here. Maybe.

More pictures coming!

My apologies to everyone who's sent me pictures over the past few months - I will get around to posting them.

And, on to the pictures!

Like this one. (Day 6, day of first shaping shave)

I try not to get chocolate stuck in my beard.
Adam and Guy note here that beards attract stickers. Or maybe that's just alcohol.
Beards seem to run in my family, sometimes.
Adam discovers that having a digital camera means you get lots of pictures of other people and few of yourself.

Link to this page

Copy the text below into your page.

<a href="">
<img src="" border="1">

You'll get a link like this:

Tell your friends! I'm not kidding!

Weird Beard Tidbits

Your beard could save your life.

Send more recent pictures!

Winners from 2000!

Dave Cohen writes:
Okay, here's a beard picture.

Before Thanksgiving, even!

Brian Sloan writes:
Here is my 3 week mark. It's poor quality because it's from my webcam.

You can tell I'm in Canada by the Molson Export beer case in the background.

But, don't those cases also show up at their destination? I need proof, man!

Brian Weatherford writes:
Hi. My name is Brian. Here is a picture of me at work, It's real and it's permanent dye.

You lose points for goatee and stash only, and the cubicle, but you win them back for the dye job and the massive apparently color printer behind you, which can only be positive. Freaky.

Winners from 1999!

Patrick Fitzgerald writes:
I don't have a "before" picture, but I think this is by far one of the best pictures of me ever taken. A face to be reckoned with, yes.

No kidding.
Fight the good fight, Patrick!

High schoolers join the fray; possibly taking things one step too far

Roslemur writes:
alright, I've gotton a fair number of people at my school ( to do it, all seniors. One question tho, many ppl are clammoring for exemption of the mustash, as they feel it makes them look dumber than they already do. We are even holding a weekly contest judged by this girl with the last name beard, aka "The Beardo Award" every week at assembaly. We'll send some pictures in soon.

While I wholeheartedly support your organizational abilities, the moustache must stay. We wouldn't want you to look too much like C. Everett Koop. I probably should also take this moment to note that I also had a beard for my high school graduation. I'll see if I can dig up a photo of that...
Tell your friends! I'm not kidding!
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