In MY Hell...

This started out at a party. No more need be said.
Except this:
The Overlord of Hell says: These are from lots of different people. The ones I find truly brilliant or entertaining or hellish or anything else, because I'm the Overlord of HELL and I can do what I want, are italicized and bold.
The Overlord of Hell also says: There were some problems with the sending mechanism, as I'd forgotten I was using a script local to Columbia. It's now fixed, so please re-send any submissions you've made in the past few days. Probably next week I'll get around to writing a real script that will automatically put in submissions.

So, without further ado, on to:

In MY Hell...

You always have deja vu.

The CDA is Federal Law.

Floppy disks come in 3.5" and 5.25" sizes and floppy disk holes come in 3.25" and 5.5" sizes.

There are M&M candy shells, but no chocolate.

All the world's a record store, but they only stock "Tiffany's Greatest Hits" and "Menudo Sings the Blues".

Your only option for banking is "Mel's Monetorium".

Everything is cheaper somewhere else.

Every song is "Memories".

There's plenty of pepper, and no salt.

A knife is two blades and no handle.

You are always watched and always alone.

It's sometimes hard to tell I'm not still alive.

I'm trapped in Discoland without Uma Thurman.

There are cigarettes everywhere, but all of the boxes of matches have little match-shaped sticks in them.

British food is served every day...everyWHERE.

Everywhere is Los Angeles.

Every movie theatre runs an eternal "Look Who's Talking" film festival.

All my favorite hangouts only admit Star Trek conventioneers.

Bars open at 8am, last call 7:30.

Newt Gingrich is on his third Presidential term.

There are more people from Newark than from Manhattan.

Patrick Buchanan is waging his "cultural war"....and winning.

You're told what will be the greatest moment of your entire life.

Everything tastes like Twinkies.

Englebert Humperdinck owns all the radio stations.

Lawn ornaments define coolness.

Four words: Family Circus The Movie.

Everything is made out of razors.

Everyone calls everyone else "Mack".

There are nothing but exits.

My eyebrows never stop growing.



I don't have the choice of actually killing the next bastard I meet.

Every woman I meet instantly sees me for exactly who I am.


Send me your own "In MY Hell..." entry

I've recently moved this page to Panix, and have not had chance to write a cgi script to automatically update the page with new submissions, so I'll have to put it in by hand, so be patient. I will get to it. This method also has the added advantage that if I don't like what you send, it doesn't go up. Ha! However, I'll only edit out those that I find really offensive, as it >is< hell and it's supposed to be very subjective, so send them to me anyway.

Back to my page